The Mental Health of America. Battered. Broken. Traumatized. To get the help, you need to be open and vulnerable. But speak too much you’re crazy, shallow, and alone. When you look deep down inside yourself you are the only one that can listen to that God inside you who provides YOU with THE ANSWER. No one in this world will ever really understand what it is you’re going through but you. Trying to explain your hurt and you’re frustration only leads to more hurt and frustration, and they’ll just sit there nodding their heads as if they actually understand what you’re going through but the reality of that moment is that they probably don’t. Sit with yourself. STOP. Listen to those thoughts. & understand that what you’re feeling is completely accurate and aligned with your truth and reality. It’s okay to feel the hurt and the anger. That’s what drives your experiences to be a better you. To stand up for what’s right in YOUR life, not theirs. Take that pain and use it as fuel to show them what they lost and what they betrayed. Stand up with yourself and show up for yourself. Then will you see everything around you once burning, turn. Bright. Beautiful. Joyous.

Joy of Men….

Giving him chance after chance after chance after chance… just for the response to be “I’m sorry, I fucked up” WHAT THE FUCK… again. he fucked up again. The same shit again. I’m at a loss of words. How do I take that. I’m still trying to pick up the pieces from the last time.. a couple weeks ago, and the time before that couple days ago. Do I stay and continue to try to be strong, because if I give up then I apparently don’t care and that’s not love. But if I leave & walk away, I’m taking the easy way out even though that seems to bring happiness and peace into my life. What happens if I do walk away, how will I be able to carry all 3 kids on my own?! I’m not even financially fit to even buy groceries for the week. Let alone pay the bills, rent, car payment, insurance…. the list goes on. I’m terrified. & all I can find myself doing all day is listening to Hillsong and surrounding my light around my beautiful kids to save me from taking the gun to my head. I’m stuck. I know deep down inside he will favor the choices in her favor & his Childrens. Leaving me high and dry over here. It’s been the same fight for the last 6 years.. what in the world makes me think it’s going to change now? Not hope… that ship has officially sailed.